On the Verge...

8 years ago tomorrow, I married the sweetest, kindest, most Jesus loving man that I know. A few weeks later (after our honeymoon in Idaho), we moved together into our first house.  5 years ago, this month, we made the final decision to join our friends and the work they would be starting in the UAE and began the long process of actually launching.  3 years ago, this month, we moved from Sharjah to Fujairah, where we thought we would spend many years to come. 1 year ago, today, we flew from Boise back to Austin to begin a new life here. We grieved as our friends packed up and sold our house worth of stuff in Fujairah. We said good bye to people over the internet that we had planned to be hugging in person that same day.  7.5 months ago, I heard our sweet baby #4's heartbeat for the first time and they gave us an official due date of June 14th (today).  5 months ago, yesterday, we held our sweet baby Jo in our hands after losing her at 18 weeks. We knew, if she made it...

When we came back to Austin from the UAE and Quinn started back at his old job and we went right back to the same church and are even a few months away from moving back into our old house, we struggled with feeling like the previous two and half years just didn't happen. Sure, we had another child, but it all felt the same as it had. Except that our hearts were completely different. God had pulled us out of our former comfort zone and opened our hearts and eyes to a people who desperately needed His love. So when we came back, we were like different people in the same life. Even though those two years were less than we had planned and the memory of them gets further and further away, He still used them to shape and transform us in ways we never could have imagined. It was like we had entered some kind of time warp where everything was the same and different all at once. Then, just a few weeks ago, when we discovered that our fourth baby, Joanna Lynn, had Down syndrome, everyth...

As we have resettled and felt a calmness and stability in Austin that we knew was from the Lord, we started praying about and considering adding another child to our family. We felt like we had room in our heart and our home and so, with a lot of peace and excitement from us and the kids, we found out in September that we were expecting a baby in June 2016! We have held off telling more than close friends and family until we made it through the 12 week ultrasound appointment when we would make sure everything was looking normal. That appointment was a few weeks ago. We saw our new little squirrel wiggling around and measuring right on schedule. But after the ultrasound, at my nurse's visit, they told me that the baby's nuchal translucency (a space at the back of the neck, used for indicating a possibly chromosomal abnormality) was a little big. Not too much, but enough to cause some concern. They suggested a non-invasive blood test that could detect an abnormality wit...

 Well, friends, you have traveled this journey of pregnancy with me, probably almost as annoyed as I was by all the false labor stuff lately.  So I wanted to make sure you got to hear the story of the actual and final arrival of Selah Christine Smith! I'll preface all of this by saying that in my over one week of false labor shenanigans I read a LOT of stuff online - including quite a few birth stories.  I love me a good birth story, but I think there's a limit to the detail necessary for a birth story.  Not an appropriateness limit (although there is a bit of a need for that as well), but a volume limit.  So I'll try to be thorough and detailed, but avoid reaching short story or novella length and make up for any tediousness in the writing with lots of pictures! My two separate days of false labor had made me feel like I couldn't trust my body to let me know when the real thing was actually here.  I had come to conclude that the difference would have...

So we've already had two false alarms with this little girl.  Full days of regular, uncomfortable contractions ending in nothing.  Now I feel back to normal, with nothing but the "plug" to show for progress.  I'm not going to go into detail on that one.  If you know, you get it - and care.  If you don't know, you probably wouldn't care.  Still having a good amount of Braxton Hicks all day long, but nothing regular or painful. Since the beginning, I'd had this feeling about April 20th or 21st.  Honestly, though, I think that's because this is the equivalent of when we had Abram. I delivered him 3.5 hours from "right now".  So pretty soon, I will be more pregnant than I've ever been.  Between two pregnancies, I realize that's not that big of a deal, and I'm actually feeling pretty ok carrying her.  I guess that's the benefit of having a peanut. I do not, however, feel very good in other ways.  Abram and I officially have a v...

Don't worry, friends. I think we are nearing the end! Then we will be on to too many newborn posts. But those will have more cute pictures and will, therefore, have more redemptive value. These pregnancy update posts are mainly for our three sets of parents to keep up to date when it's hard for us to call all of them and give them every little detail of every doctor appointment. So here are the little details from this morning's appointment: -She is "still" head down after the version last week. Who knows if she has actually stayed that way or she just got that way recently, but what matters is that she's there now and she doesn't look like she'll be moving out, because... -She's at almost -1 station. That's close to being fully engaged! Just a little further to go. -The fake labor this weekend was not for naught :) I am 1.5 cm dilated and 60% effaced! Yay! -She is still measuring really small. The last three weeks we've had sonogr...

Well, It's 2pm on the 17th and I don't think there will be a baby arriving today. My plans were foiled. God obviously wanted them foiled though, so I have to trust that it's all for the best. Some of you may have seen it on Facebook, but I was convinced that my 38 week appointment was this morning. I was super excited to find out if there had been any progress and to talk to my doctor about the weird "labor day" this weekend and see if they would check her growth and my fluid levels (since she was small and there was a lot of fluid last time). But I got almost to the hospital this morning at 7:30 when my calendar alarm went off on my phone reminding me of my appointment TOMORROW. It was one of those moments that I felt so dumb that I couldn't even be upset about it. I just shook my head, reprimanded myself using my middle name, and turned around. I double checked the text message my doctor's office sent me yesterday as a reminder and confirmed that...

An update: It seems that the 16 hours of 3-7 minute apart contractions I experienced were a sign of... nothing. We are back to sporadic Braxton Hicks for the last day. And while I have felt some pressure down there when she moves, she hasn't dropped yet. All a build up to nothing :( Sadness. But God knows why it happened that way. There was a reason and I may never know it, but I am trusting Him and trying to limit my research into false labor and helping a baby drop etc. The only things I'm doing now are belly binding when I go out (more for comfort sake) and trying to get some rest. I did take Benedryl last night and I was able to sleep through the night, but am still tired today. So I'm hoping I can get some natural sleep tonight. Sorry for crying wolf! Thank you for your prayers and for reading my back and forth ramblings about labor. My next appointment is Tuesday morning and I will hopefully things have progressed a little bit, maybe even a lot a bit. I ...

So many question marks in these recent post titles! I attribute it to the usual uncertainty of having a baby. I hesitate to write this post, because I could, essentially, be crying wolf. But because this blog is meant to: 1) help me remember major events in my life and my family's lives, 2) keep distant family members in the loop about major events in my life and my family's lives, and 3) give me something to do when I am bored, it seems like something that should be written about at this time. So, I believe that I am in the early stage of labor and have been for about 16 hours now. I've been getting Braxton Hicks contractions for forever and I get them pretty frequently, but last night I started having more painful and stronger contractions about every 4 minutes for about an hour and a half right when we got home from our night out. Picture - as promised. They weren't "floor me" painful, but they were "stop me in my tracks" painful. Quinn pack...

Hopefully not. Hopefully, the likelihood of needing a c-section was reduced significantly today due to a very unexpected, painful, and involved experience we had this morning. If you read the update from last week you know that Selah was head down, starting to engage, I wasn't dilated at all, etc. Also, we thought it was going to be the last ultrasound we got of her before the delivery. This week, at the 37 week appointment, the doctor came in, felt my stomach, did a pelvic exam, confirmed I was no more dilated and asked the nurse to bring in the ultrasound machine. He said that he was afraid she had flipped into a breech position since last week. I had felt like she was a little high and in my ribs this morning, but had not given it much thought, because I thought she was head down to stay. Guess not. Ultrasound confirmed she was, in fact, head up. * I am leaving out a lot of details here about the fact that this moment was almost two hours after my actual appointment ...