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... of the big wait #2

So we've already had two false alarms with this little girl.  Full days of regular, uncomfortable contractions ending in nothing.  Now I feel back to normal, with nothing but the "plug" to show for progress.  I'm not going to go into detail on that one.  If you know, you get it - and care.  If you don't know, you probably wouldn't care.  Still having a good amount of Braxton Hicks all day long, but nothing regular or painful.

Since the beginning, I'd had this feeling about April 20th or 21st.  Honestly, though, I think that's because this is the equivalent of when we had Abram. I delivered him 3.5 hours from "right now".  So pretty soon, I will be more pregnant than I've ever been.  Between two pregnancies, I realize that's not that big of a deal, and I'm actually feeling pretty ok carrying her.  I guess that's the benefit of having a peanut.

I do not, however, feel very good in other ways.  Abram and I officially have a virus.  It's presenting in different ways, though.  Wednesday morning my throat started hurting and Abram's nose started producing an inordinate amount of snot.  Now his snot level is off the charts and we just can't keep him clean.  He has also developed a yucky cough and I have a stuffy nose.  His cough is by far the worst part of all of it.  He really only coughs when he's laying down.  So last night we had a coughing induced wake up and melt down around 10, when Quinn and I went in there and rocked him and sucked boogers out of his nose with the sucker ball (which he tolerates so much better now that he understands that it helps him).  He woke up early this morning because of coughing and I put him down for an earlier nap during which he has only cried (totally not normal) and coughed.  We have a humidifier going in there, but it really doesn't seem to be doing much.  He just keeps coughing and whining miserably in between bouts of kind of falling asleep right now.  Poor little man.

All of this is giving me a peace about Selah taking a few more days to stay safe in there before the harsh germs of this house reach her tiny little body.  Quinn and I were both sick when we brought Abram home from the hospital.  Actually, we thought it was just Quinn and that I was fine, until we realized/found out that the Vicodin I was taking for post delivery stuff was a cough suppressant.  So I wasn't very careful with Abram because I thought that I wasn't sick since I wasn't coughing.  But I had the germs the whole time and totally passed them on to him.  He ended up getting a cough, too, and it was the saddest thing ever. Quinn was super careful and wore latex gloves and a mask when he held Abram and we washed our hand incessantly - to the point of bleeding, no kidding. 

 Abram's first few days of seeing his daddy's face and Quinn looked like this :(

In a weird way, I think these colds are God's way of making me more ok with this "big wait".  I was so so so impatient before now and I wanted to do whatever I could to help her come out.  I wouldn't have been this way if I hadn't had a few incidents of false labor, but thinking the baby is coming and she doesn't has a way of driving a pretty pregnant mom a bit insane.  Now I am more ok with either option, ya know?  If she came very soon, I'd be happy to get her out and get to meet her, but we'd be dealing with germs and sickness (potentially).  If she waits, we will hopefully start to get better and I may be uncomfortable for a bit longer and have a few deeper stretch marks to show for it, but the house will be a more healthy place to bring her home to.  

God works in ways that none of us an presume to understand, but that's my best guess and what He's teaching me/doing for me right now.  It feels so much better to give it all over to Him and trust that He knows the perfect timing for everything - including sickness and birth - and that I don't have to worry about any of it.

And just so the post isn't too pictureless, a photo of Abram enjoying a few licks of a push pop at Chuy's (Daddy ate the majority of it).

I know it's blurry, but his toothy grin was just too cute not to share.

*This is the same day he started "blowing" his nose when we told him, saying "Jesus" pretty clearly, holding the crayons correctly and actually coloring instead of just hitting the paper, and eating his whole dinner at Chuys by himself while Quinn and I enjoyed our meal and had a pretty decent adult conversation!  It was a really big day!*

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