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... of bladder control

We've made some potty training attempts before and Abram has gone pee in the potty a few times (never #2, though), but very spontaneously and not incredibly willingly.  Then I bought him some pull ups.  He was wary at first, but now really likes his "underwear".  (I did have to buy regular diapers again the other day, so that he could wear one in the morning from when he wakes up until whenever he goes poop.  We've discovered that taking off a pull up filled with poop is probably the most precariously gross thing we've ever done.)  

The decision was made to start the process in earnest the other day when I had maneuvered off one of those unfortunate pull-up situations only to discover that we didn't have any more of his diapers stocked in the living room.  So I had to run "next door" to our bedroom and get another one.  He was left alone diaper-free with the instruction that if he needed to pee, he should do it in the potty and not anywhere else.  When I came back, 30 seconds later, he was proudly holding the potty up and saying "I peed!".  And it was true!  I was so proud of him, which made him very proud of himself, and I decided then and there that he was ready to really start potty training (and learning not to pick up the potty himself...)

And then I remembered seeing this excerpt from the Freakonomics Movie: 


and I thought "m&ms! That's it!  It's something that he's never had, he would love, and if they were only associated with the potty, maybe it would be the perfect incentive!"

I promised Abram that when we went to the store that afternoon I would get him potty treats and give him three for going in the potty that morning.  After buying them and walking out of the store, I opened the bag and gave him the promised three.  I would have waited, but Abram was not going to let that happen and the incessant: "I want a treat!" quickly broke me down.   The moment those little chocolate jewels touched his tongue, he was hooked.

And I should have put more stock into what the Freakonomists warned about incentives: the always backfire.  Especially m&m potty incentives.

Abram proved almost immediately that he does, in fact, have some bladder control. Within 12 hours, he had squeezed out pee about six times.  We started out promising three m&ms for pee and five for poop.  That quickly went down to two for pee and went up to six for poop - because he is non-confrontationally refusing to do that one.

That was yesterday.  Today, after two pees in the potty (but still having a wet diaper in between), I made the decision that he would get one m&m per ounce of pee.  This concept is hard to explain to a not quite two and half year old, but I've told him that if waits to pee and then pees more, he will get more m&m's when he does go.  Luckily, I don't think he's realized that that's not actually getting him any better of a deal...

So we are working on true bladder control, now.  Not squeezing pee out when you want some candy bladder control, but keeping the pee in until you really feel the desire to go (and then happening to get some candy) bladder control.  And I think that and going #2 are going to prove to be a little harder than I thought.

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