... of aching arms

It was September 2015 when Quinn and I felt that we wanted to add a 4th child to our family. It's hard to explain how you know that feeling or how it's even possible to have that feeling when our arms were already so full with our first three kids. But there was just this space that we felt. A space that was ready to receive another child. I've explained in previous blog posts that we were contemplating adoption at that point, but got pregnant that week. And that's when our arms and hearts began aching to hold our next child.

On January 13, 2016 (three years ago today), we felt that ache even deeper in our hearts when we held Joanna in our hands when she came out miraculously easy after passing away at about 17 weeks gestation. We had been scheduled for a surgery to have her removed, but I am so, so glad that she came to us whole in the hospital so that we could spend time holding her. It was weird and strange because they don't look like a normal baby at that point and I wasn't even sure that I wanted to hold her, but I really think it helped us grieve. Being able to bury her was such a blessing. We never experienced her and our arms still ache to hold her for real. I can't wait for the day that I will get to meet her, whole, perfect, and alive.

One year later, in February 2017, we started the adoption process and our arms were aching for an unknown and unnamed child. We kept busy with lots of paperwork, but were so excited to be getting closer to finally knowing and holding the next child in our family who we started calling Bacha Panj (which means "child five" in Hindi and Bengali).

One year later, on February 23, 2018, we saw Moses' baby picture for the first time. It took until April 26th to officially be able to say "yes" to him, but that's the moment he entered our lives. That first picture was from when he was about 6 months old and might be the only baby picture we ever see of him and I so wish that I had been able to cuddle and snuggle and hold him when he was that little. But I couldn't and we will never get those years back. He is almost four and half years old and I think every day about what it would be like to hold him in my lap and hold his hands and kiss his cheeks. Every day that goes by that we don't get to do that feels like a loss because it is so precious and so important. If we have to wait 30 more days for another court date just because the judge decides not to show up for work on the day of our next "appearance", that feels like 30 days lost with him.

This is so easy to think as a waiting adoptive parent: "The sooner we can get to him, the better." It is not so easy to think that God knows the exact day he is supposed to be in our arms and He is sovereign over every day that passes without him. Even though our arms and our hearts are aching, we can trust that our God is in control of judges and courts and weather and the orphanage and our paperwork and the schedule. We sang a song in church this morning that has my favorite refrain in it and I so needed to hear it this morning:

You get the last word, you always do.

You know the best way, you always move.

You have the best heart and you always will be lifted high. 

So we will trust and eagerly wait. However, even though He is sovereign, He does tell us to pray! He tells us to ask! Every part of this process has been delayed for us. Nothing except for registering for court has happened in the expected time frame, but God is a God of power and miracles! So, we wanted to ask for prayer for this court process. 

Every district in every state in India is different. I have found 5 adoption cases in our district in the last two years (only one was an international adoption) and they all run roughly the same course, so we think we know sort of what the process should be: 

1st date: Petitioner (orphanage) registers in court. 2nd date set for respondent appearance.

2nd date: Respondent (prospective adoptive parents or their power of attorney) appears at the court and is "received". 3rd date set for hearing.

3rd date: Hearing. Witnesses and exhibits are "examined". If judge does not need to see any updated document or any other witnesses and will be ruling in favor of the adoption, the 4th court date is set for the order. (If any extra information is needed, the next date is also set for a "hearing" where the additional or updated information would be submitted and examined.)

4th date: Order allowed. Case is disposed. This is called "Verbals" in the India adoption world. 

Then the judge has to actually write it up and sign it and get it to the adoption authority and the orphanage. This is called "Writtens", in the India adoption world and can take anywhere from a day to several months, depending on the judge.

So this has been our timeline:

1st date: 12/10/18: Orphanage registered case in court. 2nd date set for respondent appearance.

2nd date: 1/9/19: Respondent received (which was all we thought was supposed to happen). However, this is also stated in the document from the date: "Judicial work could not be done due to resolution adopted by Local Bar Association vide No.DDDABA/DD/38(-)/2018-2019 dated 08.01.2019. Let the case is adjourned today. SR received."  "SR received" is what every other one of the adoption cases I found says for the 2nd court date. And all except one went to "hearing" next. The off one went to "appearance and order", which is what our 3rd court date was set as.

3rd date: 1/17/19: Appearance and order. Order is what they schedule it as when the judge has decided and is just officially passing the case. But we obviously haven't had the hearing yet. We won't know anything or move on at all if the judge is not there. And the most recent adoption case in our district is still going from April of last year because 6 of the 12 hearings they have had scheduled the judge has either been gone or "not able to do business" or it was suddenly a holiday that they didn't know about before. 

So that's what we need prayer for on the 17th (which will actually be the evening and night of the 16th over here): that the judge will be there and can do business and the "local bar association" won't adopt some new resolution that means the court shuts down, or suddenly it's a holiday, or the court has flooded and closes for a month (also has happened). Pray with us that God will move mountains for our little boy and there will be smooth sailing through this court and pick up process. And pray that we will trust Him in whatever He decides will be the best way and time for us and for Moses to finally be united as a family. 

We can't share anything about Moses on the internet including his face, his given name, his location, or his special needs until we pass court and he is legally ours. So the only thing you can know about him at this point is that he is 4 and he can rock a Gucci t-shirt like a baller ;) Can't wait to hug this kid!